Playing hard to get is a trait that girls poses and this happens for different reasons.

Though not all ladies play this ‘Hard to get game’. It mostly happens when she’s not desperate, yet she’ll be okay if a date presents itself – but she doesn’t want to rush into a relationship and get in love with a person who is not serious with her.

But there’s one thing that we got to make clear before we proceed and that is;

When a lady says ‘NO’ she doesn’t mean ‘won’t’ but ‘can’t’… don’t rely on a woman’s word for a final answer. Maybe she’s just saying what she says, basing from the current conditions or surrounding. Maybe you got to use a different approach or get to work on yourself more and comeback later. Because ladies speak basing from the current mood or how they see things at that particular moment. This might also mean that your timing when chatting matters a lot, when it comes to getting her say, ‘YES’ or ‘NO’ to whatever suggestions or requests you have. Girls are like padlocks, once you get the right key, they open easily.

So, where were we? …some of the reasons that might lead to ‘plying hard to get’;

She wants ‘Mr. Right’

Despite the fact that men want ‘Miss Right’, women also want ‘Mr. Right’. But she won’t get ‘Mr. Right’ by confidently approaching and asking who she sees to be the one, for a date. But by gauging from those who approach her. So, that’s the time she gets an opportunity to take the advantage and express her worth. Therefore, it appears ‘playing hard to get’ is necessary after all.

So, we can call ‘playing hard to get’ as; a lady’s effort or opportunity to getting her ‘Mr. Right’. She wants to remove jokers from her dating series, so she keeps you under probation or let’s say; under vetting process.

She is testing you

It’s natural that ladies love testing their men, so as to feel their strengths. That gives them a sense of belonging. Just the same way you will feel proud being associated with someone who standouts from many or dominates in some area.

So, they want someone unique guy who has found his way through life and penetrated the world like a man. And they want to feel that penetration by getting you breaking through their ‘hard to get challenge’.

They also tend to believe that mostly guys only want to ‘use women’ and move on to the next one. So, it’s by testing you that she finds out how serious you are with her. She tests your patience, your interest in her and your penetration power.

But you must remember that through this process, she will create for you a room to express yourself.

She doesn’t want to be seen as ‘EASY

She wants you to work for her the same way you’ve worked for your success. She wants you work for her attention.

So, the fact is that she wants you but she doesn’t want to be seen as desperate. This way, she believes you won’t just take her lightly when she falls for you (Like a friend told me that whatever you get easily or for free you’ll use carelessly, but that which you worked for you’ll use carefully).

So, provided the fact that she doesn’t want to be seen as ‘EASY’, She’ll make it a big deal to just say ‘YES!’ even though she wants you. Therefore, she’ll just beat around the bush hoping that you’ll figure things out by yourself. Ladies just don’t know how to go straight to the point!!!

I remember asking a girl to be my girlfriend and she told me she was not ready.  She told me that I wait until she was done with her degree and that’s when we could date (she promised to date me if I wait). In my heart I knew that was a ‘YES!’ so it was up to me to get a way of unwrapping or bending things to my own will so that they worked in my favor. We kept chatting and every time I got an opportunity, I could build that ‘YES’ by teasing her, acting like her man, making her want me more… she found herself in love unaware and finally she was calling me hubby in less than a month.

That’s why I emphasize; …when a girl says ‘NO’ or ‘WAIT’ don’t take it literally. She doesn’t mean what she says – she simply means your approach is the issue. So, don’t ask again and again waiting for a ‘YES’, just go ahead and ‘BE’ the ‘YES’ that you want. Start acting what you want, but proceed with moderation persistently. Work for that love.


This is not really necessary but it’s just cool when you be aware of it. Mostly ladies will share about their new dating experiences or their interaction with their new catch, with a close person they hold dear to their hearts.

It could be a friend, relative or family. This catalyzes the influence and mostly she’ll follow the instructions from that side. So, such influence can make her ‘play hard to get’ which might delay things much longer because it now becomes like a game or ‘fun’. Keep that in mind.

But it’s no big deal because after all if she wants you, she’ll try to make things work in your favor despite the influence. Just don’t go ahead and ask her about who are influencing her into ‘playing hard to get’ …simply because Biko said so, on his blog You might want to check this out too… How to Know if She’s Playing Hard to Get or She’s not interested!

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