The social rules for dating have always been changing from one generation to another! In today’s world, technology has made the world a smaller place therefore increasing the chances of different people from far apart to meet easily. Below are some of the answers to the question; Why is Modern Dating so Hard??
Too Many Options
How do you commit to the person you’re having good time with, when you feel there are prettier and better mates or more successful people out there that you think can give you a much better life? To answer this question, we must ask another deeper question; ‘what are you worth and what do you look for in a partner?’
We need to understand that grass will always look greener on the other side. There will be always someone who is better looking, someone smarter and accepting such reality is the first step to settling.
If you don’t accept this fact then the more options you have the undecided you become because you won’t exhaust them all. This can also create the fear of missing out. The unsettled mind causes failure to get the ‘perfect match’ resulting to pressure or stress.
Btw: Being Undecided might also mean that you stay in a relationship for long and get bored then you feel you need to try someone else.
So, don’t keep hoping you’re gonna get a better one because you won’t be focused on the one you have. If you think you deserve a better person, then work on yourself! Waiting for someone better you might be looking for something that doesn’t exist!
Meme: It’s better to give him 20 chances than to give 20 different guys a chance; choose to be stupid rather than a regular hoe.
Too Many Expectations
The challenge starts when the society makes people to believe that the value of a woman comes from her body while the value of a man comes from his possessions. The challenge grows when men put so high value on pussy & when ladies realize this, they raise their standards (the product on demand, you know…).
Since the younger the lady the beautiful she is and the younger the man the less rich he is, it appears that the two are incompatible basing from what the society has made them to believe. Now the pressure to look better both on social media and at a personal level leads the lady to looking for settled older men (sugar daddies/sponsors) so as to get money and please the society. They look for the easy way out!
I heard a young lady on a national television say, “Most of us young people, we are not looking for a happily ever after, we’re looking for stability. And once we’ve got that there’s nothing else that we need, once we are stable, we can handle it… we can handle everything!”
So, women have set such high standards for men these days and they don’t really offer that much in return generally. So, most young men think, ‘why do I invest so much time & spend money? I mean, why should I date… it’s not worth it!’ So, they choose to stay single and mostly seek to fulfill their pleasure in pornography & masturbation. Which keeps weakening the man if not his manhood.
The society creates what’s wrong and what’s right then they give you a choice to make, but you don’t have to live by their rules. Alternatively, there are so many voices in the society so choose to hear the one that seems to sound right. Focus on how someone makes you feel rather than focusing on whether they live up to your expectations or not. So, the question is; Despite how good looking you are, does another person enjoy your company as a partner? Relationships are all about happiness and appreciating each other, not flossing around!
Quick Fix Generation
We live in a quick fix generation where, when something doesn’t work you throw it away and look for something new. But this can’t work in relationships, you can’t just use people & throw them away like they never existed! Instead if it’s broken fix it, you got to work for what you want!
It’s not about creating a series of dates then hope to get the right partner in the process. Dating is not like working on something for a long time then reaping the rewards of your efforts, it’s a lifestyle of appreciating your partner for being in your life and try to bring different tastes together and create a new life.
There shouldn’t be things like I deserve money or sex because I have been patient enough with you, it’s not a game of expectations. It’s about liking and loving someone for who they are and not what they have or what they’ve done!
Dating has been replaced with a ‘hook up culture’ which has resulted to resistance towards commitment because it’s more of ‘friends with benefits’ based relationship.
So, what does ‘easy sex’ mean to dating? it loses meaning. Even in normal dating, mostly when a man sleeps with you, he’s done with you. It’s like you lose value and therefore he looks for a different taste.
If you’ve come across this meme, ‘No one holds onto it like a guy who hasn’t hit it yet’
So, when you give yourself to a man, your value is revealed and he’ll want to explore more. ‘Easy sex’ simply mean that guys want to just ‘hit & run’ or prefer ‘friends with benefits’ because committing to one person might deny them such pleasure!
People don’t understand the meaning of dating anymore. Only those who can learn to be patient with their partners can define dating. For women, I’ll say, ‘Your value increases in relation to how less you open your legs’ …and for men I say, ‘The more ladies you sleep with the emptier you become.’
Quote: Maybe the problem isn’t women & their standards, but maybe the problem is also men who don’t value women for more than just sex! We got to understand what true partnerships can do in our lives!
Dating sites and apps have created a fantasy to many people. Other social networks lure people into creating good profiles and attracting more fans which then create a false hope that they gonna get better people other than those they see. Delete all dating apps and avoid dating site, stop entertaining new catches once you find someone because there are high chances that you gonna meet someone new whose gonna divert your attention.
Otherwise you won’t be satisfied because you’ll keep seeing more interesting staff! There is never good enough. Define and know what you want then settle! If you see some prettier or successful person then know you’re not the only one who might be interested in them, you might be extending their list (they already have someone). When you find love, keep it because it’s not easy to find genuine love these days.
Avoid peer pressure, friends who tend to influence you negatively. Don’t try to look for happiness from someone or something, find it within you.
Poor Communication/Wrong Information
It’s said, ‘Ladies are like a padlock, they open easily once you find the right key.’ Today’s man tends to complicate things a lot because the society has created a weak man and therefore poor delivery, they’ve prepared a man to compete against the world than himself. Poor communication & wrong information has been part of the failure too.
Men don’t know their role anymore! Most act immature and they’re undecided. But as a man, your purpose must come first before your relationship. Today relationships are like projects that need to be funded, so when you enter a relationship and you’re not ready (not financially stable) then it becomes a challenge. Check out the full article on why Your Purpose Must Come First Before Your Relationship.
Generally, people nowadays don’t know how to say ‘No’ nor do they know ‘how to ask’. Most of their communication is fear oriented, they already have a mindset about life. Most young men think they know that they know so there is nothing you can tell them and such poor mindsets are what holds them back.
Different Perspectives About Life
People already have a set up mind of what they expect. Sometimes a person in a lower class can be afraid to approach one at a higher class or I hear some guys can fear to approach a lady because she’s too hot!
When you got a problem or want something don’t be afraid to ask, be honest, be free, be open! Never should you base your value on your class nor live life within the limits of your mind created small world. Do whatever the fuck makes you happy, don’t hold yourself back with fear.
If you ask and they say ‘no’… that’s life! Rejection does not mean you’re not good enough. If for whatever reason you’re not good for someone else, that decision is up to them. If you’re not right for someone else then they’re not right for you either. Forcing yourself on them does not change the reality. Let go but don’t use the experience as proof that you’re not good enough. Life has to go on!
Also, other faces of the society, you’ll hear someone say, ‘I can’t date such a tribe, I can’t date such a race or religion…’ but all in all, your happiness is dependent on how you see life, not what you have.